A few weeks ago, you got to witness Guerrin Gardner and Mat Sanders take a little blog adventure through Mat's debut as Apartment Therapy's newest cover boy (no? If you missed it, click here). This week, in a new semi-regular series, they're taking another turn at the old M-Dashing blog and giving us some more scoop--this time by fessing up on how they infiltrated the ICFF 2010 at NYC's Javits Center and uncovered fab design finds by posing as powerful and respected architects. Enjoy (and thanks again, Mat & GG!).
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Mat: Okay, G. Here are our ICFF passes...
Guerrin: Thanks! Where’d you get these anyway?
M: I scored ‘em from my friend John’s Architecture Firm. I’ll take the pass that says Daniel, and you be...John.
G: Wait a minute, shouldn’t I be Daniel? We could tell people it’s pronounced “Danielle.”
M: Guerrin, you and I both know I do not look like a John.
G: Fair enough. I guess I’ll just tell people it’s short for Johnica.
M: Smart thinkin’. Let’s hit it.
G: Woah! Look, mirrored shower heads by Reflect. Hey, Mat, now you can see yourself from that same sexy angle you always use in your self portrait defaults on Facebook.
M: Yesssss. With this shower head, I’ll never have to take my eyes off myself.
BOTH: Coooool.
VENDOR: Actually, it’s the heat from the water that prevents condensation. You see, as the water passes through the shower head, it heats the reflective surface--so the mirror never fogs up. Can I scan your pass?
G: Fresh!
VENDOR: No no no. Can I scan the barcode on your passes to add you to our database?
G: Oh...sure.
M: Well, thanks. We’ll be taking this literature and my associate, Johnica, and I will be in touch.
M: Guerrin! Wiener Silber!
G: What did you just call me?
M: No, it’s not an insult; it’s Viennese silver.
G: Oooooh. Look at these slotted sugar spoons. I need these for dustin’ my sweets.
VENDOR: Yeese. All of da cootlery vas designed en da eighteen ent nineteen-hundreds by Austria’s most revered and iloostrious silversmiths of za time.
M: Come again? SPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACESPACE
VENDOR: Take a look at dees. Das cootlery vas designed en 1902 by Joseph Hoffman. Dis marks a revolution en silver design. You see, Hoffman abandoned za earliah styles of Renaissance or Baroque, en favor of clean lines and functionality.
G: Wow, it’s great that your company is giving these historic pieces new life.
M: And they still seem so modern and sleek.
VENDOR: Please take our card.
G: Wait, don’t you want to scan me?
M: We’re associates at a very important Architecture Firm, you see.
VENDOR: Not necessary. Auf Wiedersehen!
BOTH: Gazuntite!
M: Ooh, over here! (Singing and dancing merrily about) Fancy-fancy-fixture-time!
G: Leffroy Brooks. And they’re Brookyn-based--like you!
M: These are awesome. They totally remind me of something you’d find in Don Draper’s post-marriage man-den.
VENDOR: How observant. They are actually designed after car hood ornaments from the 1950’s. Also available in Chromium Plate and Antique Gold. And I see you're with an Architecture Firm? Tell me about your business.
G: Daniel, why don’t you take this one. I’m gonna head over to the next booth. (To the VENDOR) And make sure to get a good scan on him. I want in on this database--architecturally-speaking, of course.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLH9tfzYGGM]
M: Guerrin, here you are, I’ve been looking for you everywhere. I got stuck digging myself into a hole with that Leffroy Brooks guy for the last 10 minutes, and now I find you spaced out in front of this crazy fan?
G: Chill out, everything’s cool.
M: No, it’s not cool. I cracked under the pressure and spilled the beans. The jig is up, we gotta skedaddle...on second thought, this fan is strangely relaxing.
G: Aaaaaaah. What a perfect end to a dizzying, design-filled day.
M: Yeah, we sure did find some gems up in this Javitz.
G: Like this oscillating dream device. Man, with this thing I could finally fire Raphael, my personal fan-boy.
M: Not so fast, Johnica. Then who’s gonna hand-feed you your grapes?
Among other fantastical projects, Mat and Guerrin have appeared as Sandy the Dandy and Charlie McGee, which was a critics’ pick in Time Out New York, The Onion, and NYTheatre.com. They’re currently developing a multitude of new comedic ventures, including a monthly comedy variety show and a live-action, highly stylized version of the Dick Van Dyke Show. Meet them now at toomuchery.com.
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