Dear House Owner,

Recently found this suspicious note on a doorstop in Williamsburg.

I believe, when opened by the owner--if at all--that it is a letter advocating the need for home insurance or a locksmith, asking for donations to a nearby thrift shop, or reminding the home owner about the necessity of the Lord Jesus Christ in his/her home/life/checkbook.

But those are just guesses. I personally would hope that it was actually a letter from a secret admirer who likes to address envelopes in could-be-cool blue stamp letters. Or a letter from a similarly artsy neighbor just asking (nicely) that the home owner to turn down his booming radio, but aslo asking him to get out his loud aggressions by being the guest DJ their rooftop party next Saturday (you know, so it's a win-win).

Any guesses as to what's inside?